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tamlin_kitsune) wrote2010-06-27 03:01 am
it's not much... it's everything
Author/Artist: TamLin
Setting: gametime
Rating: T
Summary: takes place on the first trip up to the Northern Crater. An absolutely pointless drabble.
Climbing. She was so, so tired of climbing. It was the only option though, in this weather, in this terrain, there was no vehicle with enough traction to make it up the sometimes almost vertical inclines and through the narrow passes that riddled this mountain range. So it was walk, and climb – and climb while walking and the switchback paths were the worse because it was the same scenery and you knew you were just walking back and forth and back and forth. The switchbacks were deceptive too because you’d reach the turn in the trail and hope for clean walking only to discover that it was just a little bit higher up and headed back the way you’d just come. It was tempting to just ignore the trails and climb straight up… but she knew the trails were there for a reason and if they simply tried to climb instead of walking they’d burn off all their energy too fast and still be stuck on the side of the mountain.
They were drawing on enough of their energy already. She could see it in her companions. Barret and Vincent were expressionless and truding, which wasn’t that unusual for them but Yuffie had long ago given up trying to cheerfully bicker with anyone and now even her whining had stopped. Red walked with his head down and his tail dragging behind him and Cid hadn’t even found the energy to light another cigarette when his last one went out. Ahead of them…
Ahead of them walked Cloud and his shoulders were straight and level and his stride was relaxed and long. It would have been easy to blame the mako in his system for the fact he still had energy when the rest of them were simply concentrating on putting one boot in front of the other but…
But Tifa knew Cloud – because she’d watched him so closely for so long now. And so she saw the way he planted each foot firmly on the trail after each step and how, usually observant, he didn’t turn his head to the right or the left to watch. She knew his eyes probably still were but she also knew he’d fallen back on his hearing as his main awareness. He was just as tired as the rest of them – he just wouldn’t let himself show it.
She understood why he was doing it. It still broke her heart just a little bit for him all the same. Was he ever going to get to be simply human?
In fact, it hurt her heart to see how worn down everyone was. They hadn’t had time to slow down lately, not now that Sephiroth had the Black Materia after the disaster at the Temple of Ancients.
If Aerith was here…
Her heart gave a hollow beat in her chest. If Aerith was here… But the spunky flower girl wasn’t. And never would be again. And so there was no one to tease Red and Barret or joke with Yuffie or –
Or flirt with Cloud and appeal to his male ego.
No one to give Tifa a commiserating, conspiratorial smile with laughing eyes…
The sigh escaped her before she realized it and ahead of her Cloud’s shoulders stiffened and he stopped.
“We’ll rest here,” he decided, as if the middle of the trail was a natural place to stop for a break. Tifa knew it was because he’d – somehow – heard her sigh and knew she should protest… but she couldn’t bring herself to and everyone else was already dropping where they stood, huddling into themselves in the miserable weather. She felt like dropping too, especially now that she’d stopped – but Cloud was still standing, only half turned toward them and keeping guard while the rest of them relaxed and again her heart hurt for him and was strangely proud at the same time. She couldn’t let him stand alone though and so she slipped her pack off of her shoulders and opened it to rummage inside. It was a great deal emptier than it had been once – if something stalled them finding Sephiroth, they were going to run out of food.
They weren’t out of food yet and so she dug out her precious last stash of chocolate and some of the flat bread. Folding it in half she put the chocolate in the middle and used the smallest hint of warmth from one of her Fire materia. Just enough to heat the bread and make the chocolate soft. Then she slowly worked her way down the line. Everyone got a fair share and it was sign of how tired he was that Vincent didn’t refuse his part. Walking back to the head of the group afterward, she could look back and see the tense lines on their faces fading while they chewed and it made the tension in her own chest relax. It was only warm chocolate – but it was something and it had helped and it made her feel good to know she’d done something, even if it was small and insignificant.
She joined Cloud and gave him the last piece.
“Where’s yours?” he asked and she realized he had been paying attention despite the appearance otherwise. She shrugged and gave him a smile. If she didn’t take a piece for herself it was just a little bit more for everyone else and no one had to know. She couldn’t lie to him about it though – he’d apparently been watching and he’d catch her at it.
“It’s okay,” she told him. “I’m not really in the mood for chocolate right now.”
Electric blue eyes slid a look at her and for some reason she felt her cheeks coloring, though she hoped he’d blame that on the weather. Gloves hands moved with quick efficiency and he handed half of his own piece back to her. She took it meekly and the warmth didn’t leave her cheeks but it settled softly into her stomach as well. He turned away to survey the area again, taking a bite of the bread and she shifted back over to her own rock and hunched down on it to enjoy the small snack. A minute later though, she felt a blanket settle around her shoulders and looked up in surprise to see Cloud walking back to his original spot. The cloth smelled like him and she tucked into it a bit more and tried not to make it obvious she was pressing her nose into the weave.
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Great job,as usual,thanks for sharing!^^
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You continue to rock my world. ♥
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Sorry, bit overemotional at the moment, and this really was terrifyingly sweet. You are a goddess, Miss Tamlin.
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It´s so like them... Cloud trying so hard to be the leader everyone needs him to be no matter what, and then Tifa taking care of everyone forsaking her own needs. And the ending paints such a strong, sweet image in my head.... Thank you so much for this! :)
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As usual, this is wonderful. You capture something deep in this particular moment in the game: I can definitely feel their weariness and the air of utter dejection in the group, I can also appreciate Tifa's selfless concern for everyone else as well as Cloud's resilience (it's very them!)... and most of all, I love the bone-deep connection between the two of them that never really disappears even in the most dire circumstances (which is another reason why I think your setting is appropriate). You portray it so well, it doesn't even feel like 'fan' fiction anymore.
Anyway, I gotta get back to class. I'm glad I read this first, though! And definitely looking forward to more of your writing!
(P.S. Speaking of which, I think we forgot about a title for our fic.)
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